This fall, ABC will begin airing CELEBRITY ABDUCTION, chronicling D-list Hollywood actors who have been kidnapped by extra-terrestrials.
First up, the world's biggest asshole, French Stewart, best known for his role as Idiot #2 on the Bob Newhart or Steve Wilkos Show.
French was captured by lizard people during a 1999 visit to Uranium City, SK, and penetrated against his will. He kept the story secret for two years.
He was murdered in 2004 and nobody noticed.
Most stories about French Stewart include these words: "Who cares?"
Fuck him.
